Bending it like Beckham

two gone, two more to come.

2005-05-23T08:18:00.000-07:00

hi guys! how are you you you you? well, im still trying hard to recuperate from the hurt since saturday's man utd loss to stoopid motherfuckers in arse-nal. spitting...phlegm and everything out. i guess, its never easy to for me to heal. cant even sleep thinking of it that night. ruud van nistelrooy might as well stab me in my chest. his 'dry spell' has come to bother me so much so that i wish he does not play at all. he ought to be kicking himself hard after the loss. ok, no more talking about this. so depressing.

well, just when i found myself unable to sleep on saturday, i was so fucking sleepy the entire of sunday. maybe it was due to the fact that i have exam on monday. instead of studying that afternoon, i was lazing around the room, reading the papers, mags, went online and cleaning the room. what the fuck was i thinking!!!

by evening, i did some gardening with mum. not my interest at all but the fact was, i was plain lazy to start to do anything at all which is studies related. at 8pm, i was enjoying myself watching oprah primetime interviewing the straight talking, wicked simon cowell. at 9pm, as soon as the show ended, my heads started to pound. my hands shaking. so terrified at the prospect that i might as well fail the paper the next day given the fact that i was still unprepared. not a single fuck. tried to calm myself down and return to consciousness. took a cup of extra strong black coffee and laboured on. taking risks and making shortcuts in my revision with vain hope to secure a pass. please god, thats what i hope for. i want to end the miseries, the tormenting hours of work and everything else. i just want to graduate and earn myself a fucking degree SO THAT I CAN STUCK THAT DAMN DEGREE DOWN INTO THAT IDIOTIC MORON'S THROAT!!!

so, i was preparing for today's paper this morning until 3am. not something to be proud of. took a 5hours of sleep and started the day with a fresh mind. unfortunately, i woke up today, my upper body feeling sore due to the weight lifting i did last night to keep myself awake. feel so fucked up physically and mentally. dont know why this morning, i was breathing fast and hard. maybe all the smoking has taken its toll in me. maybe i havent had a fag yet. turned out, i was feeling a bit better as the day goes on, maybe of the cancer sticks. dont worry guys. my consumption has yet to reach a cronic, addictive stage. a packet in two fucking days.

did my last minute studying chewing down my notes and storing them in my bird brain, on the bus, at starbuck's having double espresso, walking to the bus stop, on the bus again, on the monorail and in the fucking steaming hot study room at the exam centre. god, perhaps due to the 'steam', i gave up reading my notes anymore coz the more i go through them, the more i afraid i may leave certain things out or entirely forget about stuff. so, spent the rest of the hour clowning around the nerds knowing damn sure they would love to slap me in the face and kick my arse out. haha...

exam time, ..............................................................., i did all the questions required, not completely la, considering the amount of studies i did, but hopefully i would get some good news here, although, i didnt finish a long question by 90%. yup, i dont have the time. i lost track of time. i just did some definition and assumptions, thats all. you know one of the reasons i didnt have enough time? there was this fucking hot young chinese mixed malay type baby IN THE HOUSE!!! she's one of the invigilators. SO FUCKING DISTRACTING but in a nice gentle way la. so so so fucking hot. most attractive at all, she has one of the nicest, longest pair of legs ive ever seen with her dark straight hair wearing long. whistle.....

so all the 'masin' guys started to drool la. me, im very decent and civilise and mature. im unlike those monkeys in the jungle. tarzan wannabes, haha.... i just raised my hands twice to ask for extra paper although i dont have that much to write. i used them to scribble things. then i accidentally dropped my ruler, and she walked towards me and help me to pick it up. and i was very very polite. i said... thank you...she turned and walked away....beautiful ( in whispers) . then, i called her to my desk twice to tell her that i need to take a leak and my water bottle. thats all. im naive and innocent. please.... no labelling or name calling here.

hopefully, i could see her again when i sit for my next paper: management accounting on thursday. im going to take some quality rest today and hopefully, i would start revision tomorrow. i'll keep you guys posted. haha...you know what....another one way to laze.

damnit!!!!

2005-05-21T11:44:00.000-07:00

just got back from sri hartamas watching the fa cup final at the finnigen's. so fucking depressing. upset coz man u lost the match although they were clearly dominating the entire match. man u lost on penalty shootout at which scholes failed to score. but looking on the bright side, although we didnt win the cup, manchester united won the match. arse-nal can kiss my arse. they won without glory. even so, we have the 'hero' ashley cole saying they fucking deserved it. you can ask him to suck my cock. every tom, dick and harry can tell how lucky arse-nal were to win the damn cup. its pure luck. nothing else.

another hero was keng chuan (they were five of us: kok peng, kelvin chai, bloody bastard keng chuan, wai seong and me), he has no team to support but clearly having fun cheering for arse-nal. fucking hate it. like amjad too who messaged me to tanya khabar and sent me a sarcastic remark. after such a long time, since he was still in college, he never sms me coz no credit, now the 'hero' sms me just to make fun of me. fucking rat...

damn upset already...im fucking off.

im bored AGAIN!!!

2005-05-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

so darn bored. was lazing around the entire day knowing macroeconomics exam on monday is nearing. havent even studied a single fuck.

so naz ajak go gym around 7ish pm. i was so prepared to flee the house until naz's boss called for a late meeting. in the end, i went to the gym alone.
"im so lonely, why im so lonely, why im so fucking lonely, i dunno why"
naz, u stood me up not once, not twice, but a number of times already.

later at night, kok peng called. he ajak go watch fa cup final at mont kiara on saturday night at 10pm. i agreed coz long time didnt hang out with these high school bunch of guys. but kok peng kinda hesitated to ask me to join along when he heard i have final real exam on monday. he was like: are you sure or not? you dont fail again ah? for your information, i did not fail. not even once coz i didnt attempt the paper when it comes. i chickened out each time. twice already. having said that, im dont feel proud of it. i feel embarrassed myself.

then, ying wey called from singapore. miss that bitch.. haha... she's doing just fine in singapore, i guess. earning huge amount of sing dollars to dump in malaysia. told her i might go to singapore to visit her in july. but to my disappointment, she's going to bangkok for holiday. well, we'll see.

by the way, who's anonymous2? he suddenly jumped into the picture and tried to justify the reason for using pseudonyms. you know what ive to say, i couldnt think of many names i know that is longer than anonymous. whatever la, im thrilled that ive my loyal readers as well as new readers of my boring tragic blog everyweek. not that im begging for sympathy or concern from you guys. my objective is so that next time when i chill out with you guys, i dont need to explain or storytelling.

none

2005-05-19T10:36:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple of weeks, ive a makeover. First, ive my head shaved. Initially, I like the new change, soft baby hair, low maintenance. But now, I want my hair back. Have been praying religiously for my hair to grow back coz I observe my ‘shares’ have been plummeting dramatically. Furthermore, the clothes in my wardrobe does not compliment the new look. Facing tough choice everyday choosing what to wear. Then, I had my left earlobe and right upper ear pierced last week with naz and her two friends at mid valley. When I told ying wey about it, she said next I will don a sarong and name my son cruz. Yeah, maybe but I have my reservations.

Had my first paper, organization theory, on Monday. I hope I did pretty alright. I just pray for a pass. Ive three more papers to go. Next Monday and Thursday. Since my first paper, ive not been studying. Had been going out to yum cha with colleagues.

While chatting with ck and madam lim last Saturday on msn, ck brought up the issue that I have with the idiotic moron at home. Although, I never feel comfortable talking about it, I thought I need to explain myself to them because they are concern and curious. Turned out, I was thoroughly wrong. They could and would say what they think about me but what they say would not change how I feel about this. I am still me. They are not living my life. So, no matter what how I despice living as lam kok leong, im going to continue living like this until I die at the rhythm that I set, whether im going to graduate next year or not, whether i am going to graduate or not, whether im going leave home for hell, no matter how wrong it is for me to talked no more than ten words in a week on average to that idiotic moron in the house, I MAKE MY OWN DAMN DECISION AND I UNDERSTAND CLEARLY THAT WHATEVER DECISION I MAKE, I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE REPERCUSSIONS, BE IT GOOD OR BAD, COZ IT MAKES NOT A GODDAMN DIFFERENCE TO THE HELL IM LIVING IN NOW. And for the record, to ck, for me to apologise to that goddamn idiotic moron for whatever shits that had happened and will happen, either that would not happen or that would mean the day I die and I would rest in peace.

My life is so full of shit. So colourfull. Its either black or black. Let me quote Ford: you can have whatever colour you like as long as it is black. So tragic. Maybe to anonymous ( I know who you are ) my life is not as tragic as I proclaim to be. But let me say this, its tragic enough to me on my own yardstick. Other people’s scale may be different to mine. There is no one scale that is in compliance with the international standard. Just so you know. And to my other new reader, amjad’s friend, welcome to my world. Sometimes I wonder, why they use pseudonyms to hide their identities.

ive to fuck off now. chow...

im so motherfucking bored to death!!!

2005-05-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

here i am all alone at my sister's place at puchong. im so bored. this is my 3rd day here. spent the last couple of days chilling out and watching all the dvds my bro-in-law bought that ive yet to watch til now.

maybe ive no one available to me to sit next to me in the cinema. feel so tragic. it's been close to a year and a half now being single. although im pretty much happy being alone, considering how difficult it was to shake off my ex, but i guess, like everyone, there are times that you just feel so damn lonely, willing someone special would give you a call or drop you a message on your phone. nevertheless, just when you think how lucky some friends of yours to be attached to their other halves, you feel glad to be single when they complain to you how they feel suffocated in their shaky relationships and blah blah blah....ive got enough of these problems directed to me, asking for my pice of advice in their relationships. i dont want to dive into this topic.

so in a nutshell, perhaps im a selfish little bastard in a relationship, if you want to call me that. im ok. however, having said that, i do have few targets. one who plays a little too long with me. play hard to get, i mean. only leaves me a miss you sms when she feels lonely and deserted. she did sms me lately but i ignored all her sms's. its my game now. second one, takes me in and treats me well and we have really great time together. just as things seem rosy and cosy, the next thing you know, you are non-existant. no calls, no sms, nothing. then she comes to me and the cycle repeats itself. the third and the last one of my targets is this person whom i never have the balls to approach. ive got her number but i guess i just dare not do anything.

staying here in puchong, although its quiet and i can literally do whatever and whenever i want, to sleep, to shit, too pee, to watch telly, to fag, to study, i guess, too much freedom pose some problems too. havent even seriously studied a single fuck for 3days now. you guys know what i mean? my first paper would be next monday and im in serious motherfucking deep shit. im just too plain bored and lazy. listening to michael buble now on my discman while writhing this. fucking good. keane album was good too. great to listen on rainy days.

messaged ying wey last night to see how's she doing with work. she's studying for her tax exams now. well, ying wey, what a coincidence! asked her for a little motivation and she did give me this piece: think of the high paying jobs you're goin to get in a year's time versus making coffee for another two years. while the former seems to be the path that im going to take but i seem to like the latter too. i really like working at san fran. i love meeting my customers. i like working with some of my colleagues. though i regualrly complain but in the end, we'll be laughing about it. how stoopid?

even now that im taking a month leave off work for my exams, which suck, i miss interacting with them. its a form of torture to me not. all i can do is study. although i clearly know study is my main priority but it seems like work at san fran is my life. go yum cha with my colleagues after work is my life. interacting with my customers is my life. sitting down having a chat with them is my life. it's like having someone take your life and give you another life for one whole goddamn month. i know that its only for one month. i know studies are of paramount importance. i know what a lot of my concern friends would say to me. i know damn well. but i guess, i just couldnt adapt to this sudden "new life".

so, here i am, sitting down, cancer sticks on one hand, books and notes laying all over the table, staring on them, my mind wandering somewhere else like thinking of the 2nd and 3rd target. i'll try likewise chee ho said, just sit down and try to focus and you'll pick up the mood to study. i'll try but clearly up until now, it doesnt seem to work on my stubborn head.

to luna, i dont know what did i do wrong. we are not contacting each other since my last sms on friday. im sorry if you're pissed at me but i would not retract what ive said. ive said it then, i'll say the same now. if it's just a normal date, going out to have dinner or supper, without any favour, then it might be ok. but if it's not, then based on his record, being a sucker he is, then you know what i would say. i also want to add that you may think your life is so tragic and etc etc etc but you dont take anything that comes by as an excuse to make up for your sorrows, sadness, loneliness and tragicness. i may be thoroughly wrong about you here and you can be mad at what i said. nevertheless, thats what ive got to say based on my one sided knowledge of whats happening coz you didnt reply my sms. maybe noe that you're one big busy scripwriter or maybe the fact that you're so angry with me. but whatever it is, i sincerely hope that i got you all wrong.

im not quite too very really certain if im going to stay for another one day or two but i know for certain i hell miss my bed, my home, my mum and her food.

so to all my friends who are having their exams now...good luck.
me...tough luck.

hasta leugo.

sorry

2005-04-23T04:45:00.000-07:00

sorry guys. havent have the heart and time to write. as usual, my life is so full of coloured tragic stories. im sure this is one of the reason that my blog still accepted and read by many of my loyal readers even though its full of words and expletives and utterly dull.

have been busy working this week and this would drag on to next week too. im not sure if im going to work a day or two the week after next coz it depends how much ive earned so far that i could survive when im having my finals ( 1st paper on 16 may ) and whether im better prepared for exams. was chatting with ck and lily earlier. lily was asking if anyone interested to go australia. as always, im so broke beyong imagination. yeah, chong wei...even the brain in my arse could not envisage it. after my finals, first of all, ive got to work as much as possible to earn some money to pay my handphone instalments that i owe to my generous and considerate sister. for without her help, i would be disconnected from this world which would adds on to my innumerable tragic stories. maybe, i'll be thinking about travelling when ive paid up the instalment coz i dont feel comfortable spending my money knowing i owe someone money.

talking about money, which like chong wei says, its a universal problem. i agree. those who have not much, its a problem. those have a lot often feel they dont have enough either. so, like chong wei, he's a rich bloke. but most times, he claims he's broke. many of us just wont buy his folklore. an instance, he was asking if ck and me would be interested. ck and i said we are quite broke. in just less than 5 seconds, he reneged his own statement by saying he's broke too. an advice to lily, we dont mind having a rich fellow as a friend, me for one. unless, u mind then ive nothing to say. and i cant do anything but to accept my fate and the fact that im not you.

another instance is when people who know me would come to my workplace expecting that i could get them free drinks. i would not mention who coz it pains me to point them out. there is this guy whom i bought him a drink once and twice with his friends. being the well mannered person i am, i bought his girlfriends ( not pretty broads, just very ok type, whom i have not a fuck idea who they are and not interested, dont want him to lose face ) drinks too. they must reckon i fucking print money. i earned my own money hard and bloody painful ok! and when i told them that, they either take it as a joke or that i really dont need to pay for their drinks and i print my money. at most, i can just get a 25% staff discount, if i know the cashier well. if not, it only applies to family members. not that im kedekut. IM NOT! for the price of a drink, i can belanja him and myself at the mamak full stomach ok.

grudges aside, i was reading ck's blog and was so fucking envious of him having the chance to go to old trafford and watching them play a match live and not on tv though they had to pretend to be everton supporters. fucking betrayers! haha... dont let me start commenting on the match between everton and man utd. im still trying to recover from that painful night having to watched them play like shit. not to mention, silly stunt from gary neville. as an experienced and pro players, taunts from rival fans are normal. its just so absofuckinglutely silly. stooopidd.

so pissed agitated!!!

2005-04-10T07:38:00.000-07:00

did anyone watch the match between norwich and man utd? those who did watch that game, i bet you guys ( supporters la ) must be as angry, frustrated, agitated, and pissed mad looking a bunch of high paid craps displaying scrappy performance against underdogs norwich, not to mention, they scored two fucking goals and we couldnt do anything but to watch helplessly and hopelessly.

already at the beginning of the match, i sensed stupid stupid plain stupid decision by sir alex ferguson fielding non best eleven thinking we may be able to snatch three points away easily from a weak team, keeping his best players at the bench, saving them for more competitive match. what sir alex should realise is that underdogs like norwich who now lies at the bottom of the league know damn well what they want and they focus on that, fighting for it; which is to remain in the premier league. this clearly shown in yesterday's match. the gaffer shouldnt let the team play catch up game in the end when defeat seems looming. look at arsenal an chelsea for instance, they try to 'win' the game first using their best eleven before it's too late to do anything.

watching norwich finding the net twice yesterday was heart wrenching. so sakit hati. it really challenges my loyalty to the club. it was like the final straw. andy chin keeps coaxing me to jump ship whenever this situation happens ever since we were studying at tar college. but i refused to and instead i asked him to stick to the team no matter what, through thick and thin. just after watching the game, i got a messege from him. evidently, needless to say, the whole sms was full of expletives. for the record, my reply was as 'interesting' as his.

i really think that this season should be the last for fergie. no matter how much he has contributed to the team, he shound be shown the door. i respect the man in him but he made one too many costly mistakes. i would like to see that the midfield further streaghtened and more creative and more agressive attacking force. not to mention a better goalie. howard just too unimpressive.

wish man utd the best....

im just plain bored

2005-04-08T06:06:00.000-07:00

im so very bored. not working until next wednesday and sunday. have trials coming up on next monday and friday; further math and organisation theory respectively. yeah, yeah....im not taking the other two exams namely management accounting coz im so lost in it that i feel ive not learned anything at all and micoreconomics.

sorry la. havent been blogging for ages. i just lost the interest and that there's nothing much happening to write on. same old brand new shits. so bored whole day today. havent started to revise. just laze around and reading the papers and mag. slept so much, im so wide awake now. maybe i'll study later tonight when the idiotic moron is sleeping. wish i can go out for a drink or hang out with my friends now.

life is just so full of shits. ok, im bored with this. im fucking off....

great!!! just the way i would have expected!!!

2005-03-28T06:48:00.000-08:00

right after im done showering, ate dinner, read today's papers, i thought i can start revising further math to prepare for a showdown with evil bastard's class tomorrow morning and just at that same fucking moment, the idiotic moron of the house decided he's going to test his newly acquired cd player, cranking the volume up and down, singing along some oldies. goddamnit...
great, that means he's gonna test that damn player every fucking day from now on since the saying always holds true: hangat-hangat tahi ayam...my dog shit!!!!

so, to ck and lily who now must be cursing me coz i abandone them for awhile to blog, here's my explanation of why the hell im so fucking free to go online. and to naz the cibai who also has a lan chiau and tits, here's my short update. haha.....

master of the game

2005-03-20T06:49:00.000-08:00

Went out to yum cha with kok peng who would like us to call him clement than kay now, Kelvin chai, johan, keng chuan, cheng hui and the long missing in action tang chee hoow. Got cosy at this place named gasoline near steven’s corner. The place was ok overall. Board games and playing cards are available when there is nothing more to talk about while loud music playing in the air. Here I would like to take this opportunity to thank clement for fetching me from home to gasoline and chai for dropping me back. Got home around one or two. Darn…I thought we could watch mu vs fulhum outside but no tv provided. But never mind, checked online that they won slim 1-0. nothing to be happy or sad about coz they had disappointed me very much lately. Even if they lose, I would just feel a bit more upset.

On my way back, only I got to know I have another new reader of my darn dull blog, chai. He remarked that I have quite a number of stories. And I replied, yeah, quite a number. In my mind, I was thinking, yeah, quite a number of tragic, sad, depressing, calling-for-help, begging-for-worse, stories. But anyhow, now I know who my readers are, it would be so much better coz it would save me time and energy to make them comprehend the state I am when I hang out with them. It would be self-explanatory if im feeling moody and silent in front of them. Chinaman is closing his chapter of student life, congrats. He has big plan. I can only wish him the best in pursuing everything he is after. But never again you ask me what my plans are, ok? I would should you down on the spot. I know sometimes, you guys often ask coz you are concern or just out of curiosity but to me, whatever plans that you have, you never know what the outcomes are. Nevertheless, I have my reservations. No worries guys. Likewise I said, I would live to execute my plans. I would die tomorrow.

Im a pessimist, I know. Im weak, I know that too. But I would never allow anyone make me feel inferior. These week had been difficult on me. Full of empty promises ( not you only naz, you are forgiven ), betrayal of trust, dishonesty, being victimized conveniently and etc. spend the whole sunday thinking about all these. And Ive finally come to the conclusion that ive long drawn but never really make it a lesson to be learned. The conclusion is that im just being too nice to the people around me. I need to start saying NO. I let others dictate the rhythm of my life. I must learn to be selective. Playing their game or U START YOUR OWN GAME AND BE THE MASTER AND MAKE THEM YOUR PLAYERS INSTEAD. So, on Monday onwards, im going to be the new ivan lam kok leong.
Oh, you know what guys? I was watching for the first time the show mismatch and I have a serious crush on Alicia Sylverstone. She’s so cute, pretty, sexy, leggy though she must be quite short but what the hell as long as she knows how to flaunt her assets. So now, Tuesday is the day to watch miss sexy on tv. Haha

star struck!!!

2005-03-18T07:31:00.000-08:00

Attended evil bastard class on thu. Just completed our syllabus and today we moved on to revision. Realized I have been quite lost. Maybe I have not done much. Hope everything would be vivid soon. Surprisingly, he takes in heart my progress. Telling me what to focus on. Is he trying to give me some pressure? If so, im gonna feel a tremendous amount of pressure not just some.

So after class, I headed to the gym at wisma spk. But not before I get my daily dosage of caffeine at coffee bean. Not that I fancy their coffee, by the way, it sucks, san fran still the best, but it is the nearest to spk. Soon as I stepped in, I was in for a surprise. Guess what? I bumped into two members of the backstreet boys, brian and aj, clinging along a black bodyguard. I was quite stunned at first coz brian was looking straight to my face as I opened the door ajar thinking I may be some crazy fan who would just jumped onto him but I eventually acted casual as if they were nobody although I have to admit I once idiolised them, not really idiolised, just like some their songs in their debut album. Ive stopped taking any boy or girl band seriously coz however great they are, after some success, they would eventually break away just like westlife. They really disappointed me. Im now into alejandro sanz. Apparently, both were shorter than I. Not the kind of a typical American. Only as they walked away and eventually lost sight of them did I realized, fuck, ive totally forgotten to snap or record them using my now upgraded phone. Damn, what a waste. Opportunity like this does not come by easily. I guess I should spy on them at Shangri-la hotel where I think they stay as they were seen walking to that direction.

Today has been totally fucked up coz nazleen could honour what she said. Went out in the morning to coffee bean again to get my coffee before headed to the gym. That’s when she messaged me to go cheap lepaking at klcc around 5ish pm. So I was killing time at coffee bean reading TIME til the last page until 12 before going to the gym. Two hours at the gym I was done. It was only 3.30pm. so basically I was wasting some time killing the hours reading Thomas Friedman, the lexus and the olive tree, in the meantime killing pigs too. Until around 4.30pm, I sms naz to see if she’s on the way. To my dismay, she has totally forgotten and still at work. What the fuck? She said she would finish work at 4pm. So I expected her to be half way here! So, in a nutshell, ive been wasting my time all day long. Before I even make my decision, naz was kind enough to make it on my behalf saying tak jadi kot meeting today. So I left spk fuming from tip to toe. Maybe she does not want me to wait for her any longer, which was very kind of her. But the bottom line is, naz, you should have informed me earlier if you gonna have a late meeting in the office. Not forgetting to mention the fact that you said you are going to call me around 4ish.

Back to hell at home in 40minutes. Had dinner and read the papers. Took a short nap. Now that im awake, I wanted to catch American idol on 8tv at 9pm. But my sister is hogging the tv watching some old Chinese soap opera until 10.30pm. in fact, not only today, she hogs the tv every night. I cannot even watch anything on tv at primetime which totally drives me mad. Sometime, I wish she will not come back ie she would be at her bf place or at his workplace. So, in this house I called home, my place is just my room. Once im at the living room, my sister would torture me with some old Chinese shows. My hatred towards my sister has actually extended to my hatred to watch any Chinese soap operas on tv. I may not really like being in my room every time im at home, if not I would be at work, but that idiotic moron has took it personally as my sign of rebellion scolding me for taking the house as if it is a fucking hotel. But what can I do. I cannot place my butt comfortably in the living room watching tv coz of the horrific Chinese shows I would be exposed to or I would be seen as lazing if I watch tv, not studying.

So, whatever I do, the idiotic moron would have his negative judgement passed down on me. If im outside, he would think I either have too much time working or lepaking or im just plain lazy not wanting to study. If im in the house, I would be rebelling in my room. He just ought to understand that if im outside, I either go to college or to the gym or to work coz he the bloody fucker forced me to earn my own money. If im in the house, I cant sit in the living room so to let you watch me like a painting on the wall. If im in the room, I just want to be left in solitary confinement coz I cant stand him in my sight or the fact that im depressed and upset and the last thing I want is for you to aggravate it further. I wish I can tell him all these casually but I cannot ever talk to him in peace. It would turn out to be a war of words or not many words just me slamming the room door shut. It is like Israel and Palestine, though with the new president things started to change for good, like Syria and Lebanon, like north and south korea, like china and Taiwan. For your information, ive not talked a single word with the idiotic moron for weeks. Im just waiting for the time when one fine day, the idiotic moron would confront me with a parang and chop me to pieces. That would be damn cool coz then I would have basically returned everything I owe him with blood and flesh and money from my life insurance. I know its so wrong for me to say this, god forbids, but I just cannot bear him calculating what I owe him every time I have to ask him for money to pay for college. I wish Ive not taken this path. The calculations rings in my mind every time like flies. Its so fucking frustrating, annoying and upsetting.

So if I did not update my blog for few weeks, then you all should assume that im dead. Wish I am now anyway. Its just not worth living as ivan lam kok leong.

busy busy busy and tired tired tired and fucked fucked fucked

2005-03-16T05:50:00.000-08:00

Sorry guys, I have not been updating my blog lately coz ive been busy lately with work for I feel that I ought to work a bit more to cover the money ive spent on my ex hp. By the way, I bought a sony ericsson k700i. also, the internet connection has been giving me some bloody lots of trouble.

Lately, as you all would have known by now, ive not been studying at all. Just updating some of my notes which all would disagree if I call this as part of studies. But, im going to start cutting down working to two or three days only soon. I know….most would advise me to stop, but how? That would mean, im going to die of hunger and leave me penniless.

Had been pretty depressed lately too both at work and personal life. Had been the cashier for five consecutive working days and fuck… I stopped checking how much I short in my drawer each end of day. How many more bloody times do I have to become the cashier!!!!

Just the other day after tiring day at work, as if the day hasn’t been hard for me enough, I boarded the bus to get home and headed to the rear seat. Just as I got to the back, some bloody son of a bitch’s feet were so fucking smelly, it was so overwhelming, like the smell of rotten shit, I could not fucking bear it, I darted away hollering, could whoever asswipe son of a bitch’s feet smelling this bloody bad get the fuck out of this bus!!! And I turned away and stood in the middle of the bus backing the moron and resumed reading my TIME!!! Everyone was shocked and through the end of my eyes, I noticed many were looking at me instead of the bloody moron behind. But being as exhausted, mad, and depressed as I was then, I ignored their uncomfortable glances and I was so ready to pounce on anyone who felt offended of my expression. I was so prepared to get into a fight. I could not remember when the last time I had a fight was but it had to be a very very very long time ago. Anyone who knows me should know that im not a guy who likes confrontation and fights. I know how ignorant and naïve I was of the grave consequences of what I uttered at that time but god knew…I was just having a bad day and things werent going the way I expected. Only then, I realized that I was wrong to vent out my anger on other innocent dead soul. By the way, that nitwit got down at ampang park, a stop after. See, I was doing something for the betterment of everyone on the bus. Pencemaran udara, you know.

At work, rumours were rife that an office staff, Priscilla has a crush on me. Though we ie also includes some other colleagues, had been going out to movies, lunches, dinners and karaoke sessions together, I seriously did not have any feeling for her. She isn’t a bad person. Pretty ok type but just not quite my type. Others claimed her treatment towards me was evident to show that she likes me, but seriously…. i certainly do not see it. One by one started to dig dome information from me. But I just say….no comment. Afraid anything I say by be misconstrued, misused or misdirected. So, no comment.

About football, this is another stupid thing that really upset me. Needless to tell or comment further, man utd failed miserably to qualify the next round in the champions leagues. Im just so disappointed with their performance though they offered some comfort over the weekends winning display in the fa cup. Now they are playing away against Newcastle, who earlier beat the cocky Chelsea out of the competition, in the semi. So how? I also do not know what more to expect.

im in dilemma

2005-03-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

Had a fucked up day today. After evil bastard’s class today, I went to klcc to ask to yoko whether her boss’s friend wanted to sell his nokia 7610. unfortunately, her boss’s friend had not answered her messages. So, I went to the nokia shop at the 3rd floor to check out some phones and get some feedback from the seller about sony ericsson k700i. the feedback I got was the same as what I get from friends who are using the phone, the fact that it hangs. Actually, I kinda decided that im going to get k700 already coz its so ‘fhan’ la. Sharon has been advising me about which phone to get and reminding me of my tiny budget and listening to other people’s feedback about the various different phones had been confusing me further instead of helping me with my decision. Hence, the conclusion that I can draw from them is that it all boils down to luck. How lucky can you get a phone which gives you less trouble or no trouble at all, regardless whether its an ap phone or original.

Sharon has borrowed me rm1000. it all depends on me now. Would love to get a better phone but how much am I willing to top up the amount? The higher, the broker I will get and its just the 10th of the month! I kinda fancy the nokia twistable and flip phone and it has most features a phone need to have. But it’s a whopping rm1700 original. Ended up even more ‘fhan’ and Sharon asked me to stop thinking about it until she returns home on Saturday. Budget wise, im going for k700i but phone wise, im going for nokia twistable screen. If the latter is my choice, I would have to beg for sponsorship or else postpone buying it until next month. Messaged my brother if he would like to sponsor rm200 or 300 but up until now, no reply. Guess that’s a no.

These few days ive been updating my notes as a direct result of me playing truant. Fuck…im so lost. Cant afford to still be in the lost world. Ive got to find my way out as soon as possible. Mac had asked whether I wanted to watch movie with her and wai seong tonight. But I turned them down flat coz im really not in the mood. Further more, they wanted to watch lemony shit, a series of unfortunate events. Maybe I can be in the movie considering how tragic my life is. Nazleen messaged me too. Girl…didn’t you said that you would be so fucking busy starting this week running Malaysian Idols you don’t have the time to smoke, shit, pee or sleep? Now, she’s so bored she wanted to hang out. You better do a shit good work or you are heading close to fucking it up. By the way, im sorry la. I was napping when you called me thrice.

undecided

2005-03-08T08:19:00.000-08:00

just the other day, i couldnt bear with my handphone any longer coz i missed the call that ive been expecting, too very so important. so after working my shift, i messaged my sister sharon literally begging for her help so i could get a new phone. the nokia phone that im still using now is so fucked up. first, hearing the person on the other end is incredibly hard to do. then, i could hardly hear my phone ringing, so ive to depend on the my sense of feeling. as if it isnt bad enough, it was this already fucked up day i had at work, that i accidentally dropped my phone on the floor. thinking...aiyah, i dropped it god knows how many million times already, shouldnt be any problem, still ok....then, as i picked it up, ive got a message. fuck, something is awry..the goddamn phone has given up on me. it fucking stopped vibrating. from then on, ive been basically cut out of contact. those who know the shit phone i have would have to call me few times until someone else asks me..is your phone ringing?

thank you sis, you are my angel. god bless you. she agreed to buy me a phone but ive to pay her by instalments. but thank no further coz there are some conditions. first, study hard. second, try to spend more time at home ( but ive got to work! money dont grow from trees ). third, reconcile with that idiotic moron. i can try to do the first two conditions but fuck the third!

off in haste to the hub of handphones, sungei wang. browse through some phones but ended up with only two choices. sony ericsson k700i or nokia 7610 both non-ori priced at rm1020 and 1400 respectively. ori SE non-applicable coz i didnt ask but nokia ori costs rm1800. how ah? im so undecided. SE has more functions but i like nokia more coz its nicer. but i reckon i would take SE coz i dont want to waste so much money on nokia coz ive got to upgrade and download some stuff like antivirus and that would rob me of rm200.

had a meeting at san fran today. was briefed of the latest thing on the menu and other issues. i would love to write them here but im afraid i would breach the contract that i signed. in a nutshell, im damn not ' fen hei' la ( dissatisfied ). mostly because of one thing. my tiny minute salary would be cut over a period of a year depending on my cashier performance. considering almost each time i work, i'll most probably be the cashier coz those other new staff are so fucking useless and incompetant to handle the busy hours. so, of rm60 that the company would give me if i as a part time staff clock in at least 300 hours in january to march, any cash shortage in my drawer will be deducted off my salary each month til the year end. this is where i disagree. the whole thing is just too complicated to explain to layman. im fuming over this. im gonna voice it out soon. you better bet on that.

hey, naz. hope you are doing good. you must be very super duper busy now kan? take care and remember...dun fuck this up ok? its bad...hmmmkay?

reunion

2005-03-05T12:42:00.000-08:00

after work at 6pm, i quickly left klcc to tumpang kok peng's car to my beloved alma mater, st. john's institution. but being kok peng, he thought that he should have expected me to be late at least 15 minutes to change and everything and he being a smart arse would not need wait for my arrival. turned out that smart arse was so wrong. he's so fucking late. i waited at the bus stop for 25 minutes and had burnt 3 nicotine sticks before he got there. somebody was late coz he went to ikea to get something. little kelisa cant hide it.

so, the so called ' welcome home johannians' gathering turned out to be an unsuccessful event. boring and unentertaining. saw some mates our year, like ching hui ( he is still that fat and big ), kelvin chai, and keng chuan ( chinaman ). other than them, they were some i knew but even i if i call out their names, you wouldnt remember who they are. hishammuddin hussien was in sight together with his beautiful wife and daughter, but not najib. feminin, the female band which i listened to when i was a kid, came to perform their antiques. fireworks were on display but nothing grand lar. food sucked! so, we left early. as we walked out the school field ( where it was held ), there was this CP who thanked us for our presence and support. but you know what i said to his face? i told him that you are welcome and by the way, thanks for making this so boring.

had five sticks of distasteful satay costing rm4 which was complete rob, still the stomach crying for food. after many suggestions turned down by that smart arse kok peng, he came up with this 'bright' idea to eat at a chinese restaurant at pudu, near pasar pudu. wait til you find out what sort of place this is. it's this chinese restaurant where it has a karaoke session with sea of chinese old ah pak and ah soh audience. the songs were like yuck....it's such a torture. talk about my ciggarette smoke contaminating their lungs!

in the middle of dinner, kok peng got a call from, guess who...our beloved wai chee. for so long he has gone under radar thought maybe got kidnapped to iraq. he expressed his intention to join us. so, being the smart fuck, ivan, i came up with the idea to watch football at my place la. after much arrangement, we decided to wait for him at ampang point as he doesnt know where i stay. couldnt bear the torture any longer, we left in haste and headed to ampang point.

while kok peng was driving, he asked me to call wai chee saying that we are on our way there. being wai chee, that BIG TALK fella told me that he's sorry that he couldnt join us coz his car's battery was flat. he's now fixing it and that it may take some time and promised that the next time we are out, yum cha on him. BIG TALK AGAIN!! ive heard this a time too many. if by any chance you are reading this, please do yourself a favour, you might want to quit this habit.

back at my place, i offered kelvin and chinaman JD coke but kok peng being kok peng turned me down flat and asked instead for JUST coke. ok, ok...dont let me start commenting on the match between man u and crystal palace. but fuck...i cant! ruud van nistelrooy had been totally completely, utterly, certainly, unequivocally USELESS up front. most of the match, he's up in the box expecting to be fed with an easy goalscoring chance. not only that, cant even tackle the ball. he can go suck alex ferguson cock! and why the hell when all things are on the line, realising we ought to win every league game now, he throws in an unfit van nistelrooy the whole 90 minutes even though every mary, jane and jennifer could see how ineffective, uncooperative and at most times, tired and lack in stamina? just plain stupidity to have him around for so long. the whole first half of the match was so fucking messy. strategy was nowhere to be found. despite palace down with 10 men with about 20 minutes left, man u just couldnt cut through the hosts' defence. only in the last 5 minutes, man u finally showed some fighter's spirit. but it came a fuck too late. man u just plain lucky they didnt lose this.

big drinking party in solitary

2005-03-04T09:12:00.000-08:00

first and foremost, i would like to apologise to you guys who have religiously reading my dull life story only to find that i havent been updating it. i was just plain lazy to go online. went to watch constantine on wed with wai seong and mac. called cindy to join but she ended up jual mahal last minute. fine! thought lama tak jumpa ever since she went cross training at citibank but its her decision lar...

the film was absofuckinglutely awesomeous. i certainly dont mind watching it again. dont mean to potong steam again but i just feel obligated to clarify this. some whore i know told me bogus spoiler of the movie. she said that john constantine died in the end of chain smoking: 3o sticks a day since he was 15 to be specific. opsss...did i spoil it again? sorry. HALF TRUTH! the truth is that he has been given a second chance of life. chewing gum instead of fagging like a chimney. keanu was smoking almost the entire movie. and there i was seated 4th row from the screen at the far left, controlling myself from chocking my cough as i have a bad ciggarettes effect cough, i think. i was basically battling my overwhelming need to have a fag too everytime he lights up. really mental torture man. as we left the cinema, wai seong and i darted out to get some fresh nicotine air. it was good.....

that's on wed. so yesterday, after evil bastard's lecture, i went straight home. rented some vcds to watch in my room where i could almost everytime find solace and peace. while watching, i had 4 shots of self-concocted JD coke. then i took a glass of white south carolina chardonnay wine which i had abandoned for some time. was a bit high already, until all of the sudden, stomach cries out loud for food. had dinner and the drinking party resumed at no time while i fininshed watching the remaining vcds. another shot of my fav JD coke and i was done with it. but not the wine. oh... it was a very good wine. tropical with unique buttered aftertaste. full bodied, i like! not bad a recommendation, auntie! ( the lady who sold it to me at isetan ). ive finished almost 3/4 of it. time for cancer sticks! took two lon deep inhalation and i was starting to gain the effect of those alcohol i consumed.

not that i was depressed or anything, really. so no worries guys. it was just like a treat or a way to relax and chill. by the end of the night, i was pissed drunk. the JD bottle was half full initially and now its 3/4 empty! so was my full bottle of wine! goddamnit! now ive got to stock up!

by the way, 1 question guys. just something to ponder upon. is it half empty or half full? to me, its just so fucking the same! but i would conveniently use hallf full coz its a shorter version; less 1 syllable. but many would think the choice is a reflection of your life. its like the question of do you stir your coffee clockwise or counter clockwise? both are too absurd to me to accept what more to comprehend. the meanings are too subjective and self constructed. i dont give a damn anyway coz i admit im very much a pessimist and realist and i leave things to fate.

so naz called today ajak keluar. went to starbucks at klcc only to stumble upon zaidi. yuck! then we went to watch constantine again! naz treat. this is the only movie that ive ever watched twice. thanks naz for the movie and popcorn. sorry that the night have to end so early for you. whiskey or wine? damn, im desperate for cancer sticks now.

recuperating

2005-03-01T08:45:00.000-08:00

im slowly recovering from the trauma i had last night in which mother was a convenient prey and was cursed at by that idiotic moron. overall, im feeling ok now. started the day new and fresh. woke up at 5 in the fucking morning and left home an hour later just so that i could avoid bumping into that idiotic moron. hit the gym at john hancock. tried hard to sweat out the anger and frustration in me. ran the treadmill for almost 30 minutes at high speed. i was dead tired and panting but i laboured on, not wanting to give up. im not planning to give up what im pursuing now even though ive not a fucking clue of what my goals are. likewise what ying wey had said; u either be strong and face the cruel world or be swept away. ive gone through so much and im not going to allow myself to be brushed away by all these shits in my tragic life. if i do, it would mean one thing: complete utter stupidity. no one asswipe or anything would break me down or make me feeling inferior without my consent. they can all go to hell. and that idiotic moron can kiss me arse. he would face the consequences when he's old and lonely. what the fuck did i do to deserve these shits! i give no seven fucks!

up until now, lauren continues to message me once a while. calling me my ja ( what the fuck does that mean? ), dear and etc. she even sent me a 'muack' on her valentine's day message. im just being ignorant to those sick messages. at this point, im not really hunting for my other half. i dont really have the time and financial means to have one. its that kind of privillage i dont have. having my bunch of crazy friends and colleagues around me is sufficient.

ive started revising for trials now. its just so damn hard to catch up when you are left so far behind. im just gonna try my best. really ought to get the hell out of college as soon as possible. oh...did i mention that i walked my way back home today under the blazing hot sun from klcc? what one day...i'll try walking from college.

im depressed!!!

2005-02-28T05:24:00.000-08:00

This is a sad story about a child named Ivan. He came from a family of four siblings, his eldest brother Edwin and his three sisters namely Caroline, Connie and Sharon. They lived together with their parents until one day Edwin was kicked out of the house by his dad as he did badly in his studies at mid high school and hence, could not progress further no matter how many years of repetition he undertake. Poor Edwin, at his young age of 15 until he soon became a young independent man, he had worked several jobs as a junior mechanic, odd job worker, in retail field and many more while he took shelter at his childhood’s friends’ house. Many sympathized for him and took him in. Until his mother’s friend accepted him and brought him along to work in a hotel as kitchen helper. He worked hard in the kitchen. Was lucky to have a mentor and proceeded to become a chef in a five star hotel.

At that time, Ivan was around 7 years old. He did not understand the consequences of what actually happened that day. Not until a few years later. Nevertheless, he just knew about one thing, the fact that he cannot allow the same to happen on himself. From then on, this boy continued to work his arse off, trying his best to excel in studies. Even though he knew for a fact that no one amongst his siblings has ever performed well in school, he refused to accept this fact. He went on his mission to defy this self-assumed destiny and managed to position himself to be at least top half of his class if not fared better all throughout primary school and well in to high school. But no matter how well he performed at school, to his disappointment, never had he received credit for a job well done. He did all this, all by himself with no support from his family. Tried so hard, he basically forgot he actually has a blood brother, growing up with one mission; only to please his cruel father. Tried ever so hard, his ambition was only to please his father. He hated it so badly when someone asked him what would be his ambition. He just didn’t know. He had lost himself, his identity many long years ago. In fact, he had never thought of it. He just didn’t care.

As he graduated from high school, his father asked if he would like to pursue his studies. He couldn’t answer his question. At the same time, he was comparing how well my nieces and nephews did in their exams and all were offered a place in universities. So he wondered if it’s his intention that he should be there too. He enrolled in to college and did his A-Levels. Though his results were not something to be proud of, he resumed studies knowing that his father would be proud of him. Took his diploma and went on for his degree……

He’s very sorry. He couldn’t continue this story. It’s just so very upsetting for him.

To cut it short, he and his father quarreled again!! Father complained how Ivan treats home like a hotel walking in and out as he likes not knowing whether he had gone for work or college. The fact is, he’s working hard to literally feed himself. Not that he wish to work so that he would neglect studies. If he were to stop working, that would means no money. How the hell could he afford to go to college!!!! To study is not his choice at the first place!! IT WAS HIS IDIOTIC MORON FATHER’S CHOICE!!! That was what he thought his father wanted but instead he’s being blamed now that he has been sucking his money dry????
And poor mother has always been the scapegoat in any bad situation among father and son. Why the hell would his father always seek for a fight whenever crucial times like this where he needs support and peace at home after exhausting day at work so that he can fucking study??? He doesnt want to reach home so that he would feel like darting out of the house to avoid having a fight with his father. Mostly this is the main reason why it took him so fucking long to graduate. Because, he’s just too tired of pleasing anyone. He’s tired of not having the support in his studies all this fucked up years. He’s tired of earning his own money so that he could feed himself. He’s tired of the baggage on his shoulders. He’s tired of his father who has been keeping good track record of how much he has spent on poor Ivan. He’s tired of his father who’s so calculative! He’s tired of his father bad temper and behaviour. He’s tired of his father of finding other people’s fault not realizing his own major fault first. He’s tired of his father coz Ivan just could never respect him as a dad. Never ever he’s ever going to respect a father like him. Ivan is just too tired. If given a choice, he wanted to quit all these shit!!!! If given an option, he wanted to leave this place and start new somewhere else. But he could not leave his mother at this time because enough of one idiotic moron in the house, he does not want to aggravate the situation.

That’s the reason why he still continues to walk this tough journey and still living. He had contemplating ending his life but the strong man in him would never ever allow that to happen. That would just mean one thing. He’s a big fat coward. He’s not!! He has his principles which had kept him on his feet all this while. He would not surrender.

Just give this young man some time and the strong-willed person he is would eventually rise and face the challenges ahead. He will survive….

movie day!

2005-02-28T00:47:00.000-08:00

wasnt working today, thank god coz it was raining the whole last night til this morning. was sleeping like pig til 1pm til mac messaged me. went out to klcc to catch a movie with alex, wai seong, bee hong, mac, and azzah. wanted to watch constantine but it was fucking 3rd row from the front. so left with mo choice but to see hide and seek. those fucker s.o.b's at tgv has increased their prices to rm11. what the fuck!!! seats are crap, not long-legged friendly. small tiny cinema which deprived us of space and easy viewing. this is fucking price discrimination. not to mention, its so called caramel popcorn sucks big time. not even a tiny bit as good as gsc's. so kedekut caramel. if its not because of klcc being the closest to get from home, i wouldnt waste my money to catch a movie there so that those jackarses could laugh spending our hard earned money. goddamnit!!!

anger aside, the movie was 7.5 out of the scale of 10. its kinda thriller/mystery movie about dr. david callaway whose daughter emily has been hospitalised due to the trauma of losing her mother who slit her wrist and eventually bleed to death in the bathtub. with the intention to start new, david takes her daughter to live in the countryside. not to potong steam for those who wanted or like us have no choice but to watch this movie, in the end, apparently, it was her father who has been living with MPD ( multiple personality disorder ) due to the trauma of, not about losing his wife, but because of her infidelity. haha...so much of my intention of not potong steam right? sorry la guys, its just a payback time coz there was this imbecile who told me the ending of constantine where keanu reeves died of smoking too much cancer sticks. damn...did i potong steam again. apparently, im just getting quite good at it. muahahaha.....
by the way, do you know that keanu actually means a breath of fresh air in hawaiian? he's a marriage of hawaiian father and english mother.

after the movie, mac, yoko, azzah and i went to have dinner at rendezvous. had my all time fav, in fact, thats what i have everytime, marmalade chicken. this was the first time after much ignoring this place as an option for dinner. it was actually azzah's idea actually. never thought she'd go to this kind of place to eat. surprising? after dinner, azzah offered to send me home. such a nice darling! and the bonus, she said i can drive her honda jazz. yeeaaaa.... it was such a smooth journey back home. uhh hum...clearing throat, maybe also due to my driving expertise. haha...i know, many would disagree but what the hell...

to naz who complained that my blog is stoopid, thank you. that's my intention. meaning, ive accomplished what i want my blog to be. a blog which is out of ordinary, plain, maybe a bit boring but above them all, what matters is INTERESTING with unique personal touch. unlike those nice, colourful etc like ck's...its nice, im quite impressed. too bad naz the fact that you could be there to meet your ' brandon boyd ' , yuck!!! HE STOLE MY FAV COLOUR!!! copy cat!!

movie day

2005-02-27T08:07:00.000-08:00

exhausting day!

2005-02-26T09:15:00.000-08:00

skipped management accounting class today, again and again because it was such a boring class. even if i attend it, i'll be sitting behind the class chatting, wasting my time while the lecturer reads directly from the book. occasionally, he would crack a joke only for us to force out a giggle to layan him. all these aside, im so fucking lost in MA man. havent even done a single tutorial because my tutorial class clashes with dr. goh's further maths lecture. that evil bastard is going to nail me to the wall, slash me hundred times, strip me and then hang me outside so that my blood would dry up under the hot sun, if i miss his class.

got a call from naz yesterday telling me she has been offered a job as a script writer for the 2nd season of malaysian idols. so she's so fucking 'khen cheong' ( not nervous, as she claimed: but what the fuck, its so fucking the SAME!! ) she wanted me to accompany her. so i obliged at first but left her afterwards to hit the gym at The Curve ( by the way, The Curve sucks, so big yet so boring and empty, sort of like Times Square ) if i were to sit next to her at the interview, it just shows how not confident she's, isnt it? why dont just bring your mum???.. not to mention, i would look like a complete dumbarse.

in the end, she secured the job. waa...i actually have a scriptwriter as a friend, dont pray pray you...just hope and pray she would quit fucking up her job now like she did previously. apparently, naz is very the good at fucking up stuff. hahaaa...no offense naz. she called her mum who sent her corny messeges and joanne, her best friend.

was so hungry after working out, we went to eat at nirwana, bangsar. has my tosai rawa ( it's good. ying wey recommended it once ). miss the taste of it. and naz had tosai biasa...yuck, so plain! and it was at this point, i saw joanne walking towards us from across the street. not that i havent seen her before, but what catches my eyes was her boobs. it definitely looked so absofuckinglutely bigger. maybe it was the loose top she was wearing. whatever it was, hi joanne..how are you doing??? here you go naz. haha... nice pair of legs too jo!!

after lunch, jo insisted to play snooker. so we headed to amcorp mall. let's just cut this short coz its embarrassing to me. jo's good at it, naz's ok la while i looked like a complete IMBECILE!!!

a game of snooker and then we were done. jo called her friend aaronson ( what a name!!! ) and he drove us to yum cha with some of his friends. got to know this guy named ramesh who speaks exactly like my friend, amjad. no kidding, amjad if you are reading this. you should meet this guy, fucker. the tone and etc all the same...plus your trademark rubbish. it would be interesting to see how you react. its like meeting your twin even though both are not related.

another fucking hot day!!!

2005-02-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

another fucking hot day!!!

2005-02-25T08:46:00.000-08:00

the weather is just so fucking hot it's like being on the Sahara Desert. read in the papers that the dry spell could well continue to sweat out the whole of march and april. already the air cond in my room is switched on everytime i get home. dad is sure going to start raising his voice at me.

went to the evil bastard dr. goh's further maths class for the first time since after CNY. yeah, yeah...ive been skipping classes during this crucial times knowing the final exams are emerging to haunt me. god, im so much like a dead piece of pork. he asked me for a reason for my disappearence ( as if it matters to him, i guess coz im an easy victim ). told him apparently there were some events happening when i was at my hometown. the reason sounded so like WAAA... but evidently it was so goddamn LAME! didnt even go back to my hometown.

however, i did go out of town. went to taiping with some of my colleagues at san fran coz most staff are from there. overall, the trip was just very so ok if not for my acne breakout! it was a day that i wish i have a MASK! it was like mushrooms growing after the rain. one after another competing which part of the face they want to conquer. so horrible and horrendous. talk about someone having bad hair day ( i mean you, ying wey ). now i really know how it feels like.

after dinner, one of my best mate at san fran, alex drove us to this 'taman' dubbed taman eliathamby to watch some drag queens..ah kuas. the alley that we took was so dark, i couldnt see a single soul. no lamp posts along the way. didnt even realised we already there. as he drove deep into the taman, the number of drags was 'astonishing'. it could probably equivalent if not outnumber the number of trees. some sat down nicely under the tree to take shelter from the moonlight. some were seen negotiating with customers riding their bikes or from inside the car. some 'mummies' parked their asses right outside the house. cars lining up to park along the bushes. those car owners remained a wonder to me. residents' or customers who might be at that time banging someone's ass behind the bush. it was a scary experience. you might laugh but wait til you see their faces. they dressed up as if they are attending a ball, wearing their hair long with make up so white and thick it could be put on 10 women with some leftover for the next day. imagine them under the tree sitting comfortably on a log. urgh...yucky! we drove two rounds and left coz alex told us that if we didnt then they may kacau us. he added those 'unemployed' now normally ugly ones. those nice ones probably busy doing their job. muahahaha....

yee sang anyone?

2005-02-22T04:20:00.000-08:00

its 0421 and i just got home a while ago from karaoke session at the red box, low yat plaza. had yee sang with my fellow colleagues at pudu. the food wasnt very good but i devoured them because my stomach tak tahan...too hungry. waited for like 1 hour to be served.

im so sleepy now so im gonna have to make this short. thinking whether i could drag my feet to work waking up in another 2 hours time. but i dont want to repeat what had happened on monday. maybe i shouldnt sleep. maybe im gonna watch the Champions League action live on Astro now.

at this moment, Arse-nal are trailing by one goal against Bayern Munich. hope they are gonna crash out of the competition. but my focus is on the match between Real Madrid and Juventus. looking at Real's bad form at the moment, i wish Juventus could seize the advantage. too bad for my much idolised Beckham ( he fathered another baby boy! )

okie dokie, im still thinking of my next course of action, to sleep or not to sleep.....

ZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz...................

damn, im so late!!!!

2005-02-21T10:16:00.000-08:00

i was so engrossed to the making of my blog and the fact that i just downloaded msn messenger that i ended my day at 0330. by the way, it was pleasant to chat with those guys in the uk who i badly missed. chongwei, lily...damn, i like name calling him, ck...hey, where are my add?, cheeho...finally, you emerged from your deafening silence. knowing i need to wake up at 0500, i set my alarm clocks to that time and proceeded to bed.

just as i thought ive just gone to deep sleep mode, my handphone rang. crawling my way to get the phone, i was so prepared to break a war of expletives for calling me so fucking early in the morning. grabbed the phone, saw the called id displayed ' san fran klcc', i smelled trouble. deeeeeep TROUBLE! DAMN, IM SO LATE!!!!!! took a glimpse of the wall clock. it was 0702!

so yeah, i told a white lie today. lame excuse for my lateness that i thought it was sunday and i was not scheduled to work. fortunately, i got away from it because ive always been punctual if not entering early to work my shift. i was just so lucky. the minute i put down my phone, i kinda transform to become superman. darted off to the washroom to brush my teeth. didnt even have the time to take a leak. took my stuff and ran out to the car.

damn, it's 0710 and the roads were all jammed up, parents driving their kids to school. rats... kids today are so fucking lucky. reminiscence about those early years that i had to go to school by a goddamned bus. took those kampung roads to reach the highway. kept my distance from the car in front of me, so close, so not to allow any jackass to overtake me. GET OUT OF MY WAY BASTARD! IM SO LATE! turning myself to mr.bean now as i changed in the car. no, not my pants!!! lucky the pedestrians...hahaha...

as i got to the car park, i ran like a mad cow up to the outlet. the security guards and some early risers looked bemused. i ignored their uncomfortable glances and continued running. damn, ive not run that fast for a very long time. panting, catching my breath.

yeii....finally

2005-02-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

finally got my own blog thanks to my dear friend, Naz.

Although im still trying very hard to make it less dull...in fact, it's so dull, i can't really bear it meself. Whatever la.... gi mampus. It's my blog anyway.

So, it's another boring and extremely hot Sunday. I was so desperate to run out of the house because I just couldn't tolerate the heat at home any longer. Yet, at the same time, I couldn't beat the blazing sun out there. Called Naz who's so bored at home, just like me.

We ended up boring each other out at klcc. Bought Naz dinner at Chilli's. Had great fun bitching about people. Ended up rm65 poorer but what the heck....

Hope you're feeling better now Naz and that you really like that gift that i bought you. As you would have expected, i gave up making my blog looking more the interesting. Gonna need your help soon. Haha....